God I Am Still Gonna Trust You

A little history...when our second son was 15 months old, 18 years ago, he came down with spinal meningitis (our oldest son was 4.) Daniel was not expected to live through the night. While he was in the hospital for 6 weeks I spent a lot of time in the hospital chapel.

During this time in the chapel God brought the word restoration to my mind. I did a word study on the word and wrote the definition, along with ways I was asking God to restore Daniel, in my journal. I still have that paper...it's a little worn and yellowed, but I have it as a reminder. I truly believed Daniel was going to come out of the hospital able to walk and talk and just be his normal self. There is so much to say, but bottom line, he came out of hospital, but according to neurologist in a semi-comatose state. Daniel was totally dependent upon us for his survival.

His brother, Jonathan, was a trooper. As we led our congregations we taught and preached healing and deliverance. We knew God could heal and still believe that He does. We taught our son, Jon, and his sisters to believe for Daniel's healing, as well as others. One Sunday evening when Jon was about 10 and Daniel 8 Jon went to the church nursery and brought Daniel in his wheelchair to the altar for prayer. They laid hands on Daniel and prayed for healing. Every move Daniel made Jon would open his eyes with anticipation for Daniel to get up out of the wheelchair. I saw the disappointment when it didn't happen.

My prayer over the years has been that my children continue to believe and not allow a disappointment, such as this, to hinder their faith. Jon is now 22 and having a hard time totally trusting God and allowing him to direct his life. He is trying to do things on his own.

This is hard for a mom and dad to watch, but their is nothing we can do except pray. And believe me, that is what I am doing. God has done many things for Daniel. He is happy when most people with trauma to the brain like he had, have to take medication to calm them. Not Daniel. He is happy and joyful, which was one of the things on my list of restoration. His brain is not restored, but I can still believe. If God can raise Lazarus from the dead and recreate those dead brain cells, he can do that for our son, Daniel.

In the mean time I continue to pray for my son, Jon, to overcome his hurt and disappointment and see what God has done in Daniel's life. All he can see now is a brother that was taken from him. Someone he once played with was taken and he grew up without that friend he once had. He sees Daniel lying in his bed or sitting in his wheelchair unable to do anything. If he was not taken care of he would die.

I have thought about that often. I ask God to help me continue to thank Him for the testimony Daniel has had to everyone in whom he has touched.

My main point in all this is...when you are a ministry family that believes in the miraculous and it does not happen when you expect it, or the way you expect it, do not give up on your faith. When a member of your family is hindered in their faith because of what happened in their life, keep praying. Do not ever give up! At some point they will come around. We have to keep Hebrews 11 in the forefront of our mind.

God is soveriegn and He knows what is best for all involved. When you feel like giving up read Hebrews 11. There will be those times you will want to feel sorry for yourself and have a pitty party. It is ok to feel that way. We are human. JUST DON'T STAY THERE! Find someone that will help you rise above your feelings.

Remember, God loves you and will always be by your side.