We all need friends - especially women who are in ministry. When we give of ourselves continually we can become drained and just need someone to talk with that understands our lives. Other women can be friends, but they will not understand the life of a woman in ministry. That is why it is so important for women in ministry to open up to each other - and I have found that to be one of the most difficult things for a woman in ministry to do.
Why? There could be several reasons. Over the years women in ministry have learned to be "closed" so they would not be hurt, or hurt their husband's ministry. Little by little that is changing and women are coming to realize the need to be open. There have been too many pastor's families in crisis situations to ignore the need for relationships and better mentoring.
It is my opinion we need to develop friendships with other women in ministry. Take time to get to know each other. Break down denominational walls and get to know other women in ministry. We may not have the personality to go out and get to know someone we don't know, but it is very important we do. Be persistant. Schedule a meeting where you go to a coffee shop for the first time. Then meet monthly at the same place. Get other women together and go to the beach, or for a walk somewhere. The point is to just hang out and enjoy each other's company. A relationship will develop from there and when someone has a need for support or encouragement a relationship will have already been established to help.
I would love to hear how some of you are doing this already. Let me know your thoughts.
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2 comments:
This may seem random, but I came across your blog by typing in "pastor wife hurt". I am a pastor's wife and have been for 8 years. I also attended Bible college and now I am involved deeply in my husbands ministry. I am in desperate need of a friend who understands what it is like in my shoes. It is hard to confide even in the other wives of the men on staff, and certainly it is frowned upon when it comes to speaking to parishioners. So, where do we go? Living a life where transparency isn't welcomed, yet demanded of our congregants, can be draining and lonely. I never thought about going outside of my "denomination" for fellowship. I am going to make a conscious effort to do that. THank you for posting this.
Very good advice, Women need to confide in women who walk the same walk:) Glad you are here:)
Deb
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